Bag The Bag

Come Fly With Me

Jude has been obsessed with paper airplanes lately.

It all started with a paper airplane book that David has. Jude loves to look through there and get the paper airplanes made. Then he started trying to make them himself. He's getting along pretty good with it now--he's learning how to crease properly, and follow the diagrams fairly accurately.

The other day, he made one and said, "It doesn't look like the picture, but it flies pretty good!"

Yesterday, when we went to library, I picked him up a different paper airplane book.

I think the boy has made about five airplanes since last night--some of them for himself, some for his brothers.


Inevitably, Jabin will pick a really complicated one, so I usually get to make a few, too.

And, when you're a boy, what better way to play with your paper airplanes than throwing them all?



At the same time.


Good thing I have a pretty hefty-sized pile of scrap paper!

Waiting for the Freedom Train

Is it really Thursday? Seriously? Isn't that day usually preceeded by a Monday, Tuesday, and a Wednesday? What happened to those days?

We are less than two weeks into summer, and it has already been going by with a blinding speed that leaves me dizzy. We went down to Sylvan Lake last weekend for the goings-on and family reunion surrounding Uncle Dale's funeral. As wonderful as it was to see members of Jason's family that we have rarely (or never!) seen before, I was a little sad that I didn't get to see more of my own. I spent a few hours with my dad, and got to wave at my cousin through our vehicle windows when we spotted her next to us at a traffic light. I had stayed until Monday, thinking I would get to visit with some friends before coming home, but by the time I got us all packed and did the bit of shopping I had to do, it was just time to leave. And really, after three-and-a-half days of solid socialization, I was "visited out."

So, this week is "tax" week. This statement implies that I have been working on them non-stop. Well, that is not actually the case. This is just the week I have set up as the deadline in my mind (you know, as opposed to the actual deadline which was over two months ago!) that they must be done by.

I was doing so good before we left Mena. Since we were going to be leaving on March 25, and I knew I would not be able to get them done on time if they weren't finished by then, I worked hard to get all my books caught up and ready to just plunk numbers into the tax form before I left. I almost made it. Then I had to pack my computer. (My PC, not my laptop. The information I need to do taxes is all on my PC, and not easily transferrable. Difficult to explain--you're just going to have to trust me on this one.)

So. We got to Alberta on April 17, three whole days before the tax deadline. Where was my computer? Buried in the Sea Can. Which was buried in the snow on our melting and soggy property. It was sometime in late May or early June before we even got to unpack it. Since then, there have always been about a million things to do that demanded time and attention, so although I have been progressing on books and taxes, the progress has been slow.

So this is the week. The taxes will be done. Then I can feel free to scrapbook without guilt. (I have only made three paper and three digital pages since leaving Mena. That's a total of, um, lemme count... Six pages! In four months. Pretty sad compared to my "page-a-day" goal of last year.) I can read a book! (I've had Penelope sitting on my "to-read-for-pleasure-when-I-can-do-it-without-feeling-guilty pile since February.) I've been anxious to read. And sew. And jump on the tramp. And... and... and...

Only a few hours of work left. Maybe I can get it done today. Wouldn't that be awesome?

Won't the freedom be amazing?!

Oh, wait... After that, then I have to do eBay store maintenance. Shoot! Don't tell my boss, but I might take a couple of days off for me before I start on that. My boss wouldn't like that at all.

She can be a real slave driver that way.

What are you doing with your summer vacation, friends?

I Grieve

It's been a busy week for births and deaths. And I'm not talking celebrities, only within the many and varied links of Jason's and my extended families.

As you know, last Friday Uncle Dale passed away. On that same day, my cousin Mark H. and his girlfriend had their first baby, a beautiful girl named Haley.

Then on Wednesday, my cousin Michael M. and his wife lost their anxiously-awaited first-born daughter in a still-birth.

I miss Uncle Dale. He was a decent man, but he had lived his life hard, and often said that he didn't expect to live past thirty--if he had known he was going to live this long, he would have taken better care of himself, he said. He was 55 at the beginning of June.

Contrast that with the daughter that was lost before she left the womb--fully to term, waited for, prayed for, the baby that the natural said should not have even been conceived. Yet there she was. She was here for nine months, and then she was taken home.

My heart is breaking. It is so far beyond my human understanding, and there seem to be no answers to the questions of "why?"

I lost two babies, too. They were not even two months into life, and still it hurt. And still, it hurts. I cannot imagine the pain of carrying a child past its due date, knowing it has died within you and having to endure twenty-one hours of induced labour to deliver a dead shell, the spirit withdrawn before you ever laid eyes on her.

I have been weeping for two days.

Michael, in his e-mail to inform the family, quoted the texts Job 1:21 and Psalm 139. Job 1:21 says, "The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord."

Psalm 139 is rather long, but the verse that jumps to my memory for this situation is "For you created me in my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother's womb." (Verse 13) Michael and Yrang's daughter was always the Lord's. They know it, and the grace and peace they are displaying, even in their grief, is an inspiration to me.

I don't understand it. I am trying to surrender my grief to the Father, but it's still difficult.

And still, I know I must allow myself to grieve. For this new baby girl. And for the two I lost. I thought I was done with that, but maybe not...



Glory Baby
by Watermark (Christy and Nathan Nockels)

Glory Baby, You slipped away
As fast as we could say baby, baby
You were growing, what happened Dear,
You disappeared on us baby, baby

Heaven will hold you before we do
Heaven will keep you safe
Until we're home with you
Until we're home with you

CHORUS
We miss you everyday, miss you in every way
But we know there's a day when we will hold you, we will hold you
And you'll kiss our tears away, when we're home to stay
*We can't wait for the day when we will see you, we will see you
But baby let sweet Jesus hold you, until mom and dad can hold you*
You'll just have heaven before we do
You'll just have heaven before we do

Sweet little baby, it's hard to understand it
Cause we are hurting, we are hurting
But there is healing, and we know we're stronger people
Through the growing, and in knowing

All things work together for our good
And God works his purposes
Just like he said he would
Just like he said he would

CHORUS

BRIDGE
I can't imagine Heaven's lullabies
And what they must sound like
But I will rest in knowing
Heaven is your home
And it's all you'll ever know, all you'll ever know

CHORUS

Mish-Mash

Yesterday was the last day of soccer. There was a barbecue and a soccer game free-for-all (it was supposed to be kids against the parents, but it wasn't really organized). The kids got a little excited:


Also, Jude and I baked together. My Aunty Ruth Anne gave each of the boys a "Gold Medal Flour Alpha-Bakery" cookbook when we stopped through at their place in Oregon. This was the first time we made anything from it. Jude read the entire recipe, and got a lesson in fractions, too! It made the project, which would have taken twenty minutes by myself, stretch to two hours! Oh, well. We both had fun. Jude did a great job. And the strawberry shortbreads tasted awesome!


This morning, Jabin came up to me wearing these goggles and being goofy. I couldn't help but notice the resemblance it gave him to the robot on his shirt:



Also, this morning we got the sad news that Jason's Uncle Dale passed away. It was expected--he has had a variety of health problems for some time, and without a liver transplant, it was only a matter of time. However, we are sad to see him go. We will miss his humour, his upbeat attitude, and his generous spirit. Rest In Peace, Uncle Dale.