If You Give A Pig A Pancake...

Okay, so I'm sorry for not posting a REAL post all week, but here's what I've been doing. (In the style of one of my children's favourite books.)

If You Give A Girl A Paintbrush...

...She's going to want to paint her kitchen. So, she'll buy the paint and start with the walls.

Then, she'll want to paint the trim. So you'll need to give her masking tape.

As she's taping, she'll notice the really terrible job that the previous homeowners did of the trim on the kitchen passthrough. So she'll say, "I can fix that!" Then she'll start taking off the cheap wooden planks they used instead of putting up drywall.


Then, she will be HORRIFIED to discover that they didn't even FRAME the passthrough--and she's pretty sure it is a load-bearing wall.


So, then you will need to let her use the computer and the phone. A LOT. To call her dad, who really knows a lot (or at least a lot more than her) about framing (he did build his own house, after all), and to go online to try to become a journeyman carpenter in an afternoon (or at least get some visuals of what the heck her dad was trying to tell her.)

Then, she will need to go to the hardware store to buy lumber and tools.

When she gets home, she will diligently start marking, sawing and nailing. Then, she will realize that she did not get enough tools.

So she will go back to the hardware store. With three kids. Who are bored out of their trees. Thank goodness the double stroller keeps at least two of them in one place!

After that, she will hammer and nail and saw some more, until finally, the framing is done.


Unfortunately, you might have to tell her that it is not plumb and square. So she will go back to the hardware store to get a level--and more tools and supplies. Yowch! Total project cost so far: $300.*


Then she will lament that all she wanted to do was paint her kitchen!!! So, after she has finished framing, drywalling, cutting trim, putting up beadboard, she'll want to make sure everything is the same colour.

So then she will ask you for a paintbrush.

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*Unfortunately, I haven't actually got my un-plumbed framing fixed, yet. But I will. I THINK I have all the tools. I'm probably at the asterisk in this story-line right now.

To further complicate matters, Noah totally freaks out every time he hears a power saw (which, fortunately, I was able to BORROW instead of BUY!) This makes it difficult to do more than two or three cuts at a time before he is down the stairs and climbing into my lap for comfort--and to prevent me from turning on the terrible monster again.

The previous owners of this house were only in here 2 years, but they did a lot of renovations. Unfortunately, they did all of them badly. They couldn't paint worth a darn. They laid laminate floor horribly. And all the materials they used were the cheapest ones they could get their hands on. It is unfortunate, because the house underneath is solid and good, but it needs some nicer clothes, now. We have managed to fix a few of the problems already, but mostly ones that the previous owners just hadn't addressed yet. (Although we did tile the master bathroom, which they had PAINTED with GRANITE-TEXTURED PAINT instead of putting any REAL flooring in there. They also put this same cheap, difficult-to-clean alternative to tile or quality materials on a peninsula in the kitchen, and on the hearth they built in front of one of the fireplaces. I found the can in the basement, and it said "Cleans off easily with a hose." Yeah, like I'm going to hose down my kitchen counter or bathroom floor on a regular basis. Some people [I say "some", but the percentage is probably higher] only turn their brains on for special occasions--and some don't even do that!)

So, that has been my week. I am falling behind in my housework--haven't done laundry in over a week, so we're getting down to the desperation underwear--and I've just been doing the bare minimums of office work so I can keep my customers happy!

Sigh. Did I mention that all I wanted to do was paint my kitchen?

At least the colour I picked for the walls looks nice!

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This sign is a new addition at the top of the hill entering our neighbourhood. I'm pretty sure it was put up by the owner the house who now has a walk-in basement, thanks to a couple of drag-racing kids, one of whose car's went airborne.

Jason saw the car sticking out of the basement, but unfortunately did not have a camera to take a picture of it. THAT would have been funny. (Well, to me, but not to the guy who owns that house.)

Quote of the Day:

"There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelflife." - Frank Zappa

Bonus Quote:

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." - Albert Einstein

Kay, this is too funny!

To all my mommy and daddy friends (and anyone else who wants a laugh!) Check out today's post from Rohini's blog:

Mama Says So: Five Minutes in the Life of an 11-Month Old

This is a sweet woman I "met" through the blogging stratosphere. She definitely nailed the point of view of a baby in this one!

Have a great night!

"Giggle, giggle!" says Jabin.

Today, Jabin laughed for the first time. He was laying on the carpet outside of the bathroom while I was helping Noah go potty, and Jude started giving him raspberries on his stomach. And he laughed and laughed! So, of course Noah and Jude and I were all laughing so hard at Jabin laughing that Jude kept right on doing it. It was way too cute.

I told Jason the story at supper, so I guess I shouldn't have been surprised when he was changing Jabin's diaper before bed, and all I heard from the nursery is:

"Bthrbt!" *giggle, giggle*

"Thrbtpt!" *giggle, giggle, giggle*

If you could bottle a baby's laughter and sell it as a drug, people would get so addicted with one use that you would become a millionaire!

An addendum to yesterday's post:

Quote of the Day:

"I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way." - Mark Twain


Apparently, Mr. Clemmens and I would have had a falling out on this one! :-)

Responses to Comments

In case you're wondering--

I usually post a comment responding to everyone's comments after a few days. Just so you know, I do read them all (I have to, to publish them! :-) ), and write back a note, too!

Thanks for reading!

Tickling the strings, and a Short Parable on Spelling

Okay, everyone, don't blow a gasket, but--

I ACTUALLY PLAYED GUITAR TONIGHT!

Shocking, I know. I started teaching myself to play just before my second son, Noah, was born, did really well for a few weeks, took a LONG sabbatical, played again really faithfully for another few weeks, and haven't touched it since. I have had the best of intentions but despite the fact that my Palm reminds me to practice every weekday, it hasn't happened for well over a year.

In spite of a split on the middle finger of my left hand that has made both typing and pressing strings interesting (not to mention painful), I actually got to practice for about 15 minutes before I decided that I didn't want the rest of my fingers to start bleeding, too.

Jude and Noah had fun playing with the tuner. (It's the type that is kind of like a harmonica.)

Hopefully, I can continue the habit....

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Okay, recent pet peeve:

Person A decides, "I need to make some extra money. Hey, I know, I'll write an eBook and sell it for an exorbitant price!"

Person B says, "I need to make some extra money. Hey, here's someone selling an eBook about how to make money! I'll buy it!"

So, Person B pays exorbitant price for Person A's eBook. The only problem is, Person A can't spell to save his or her life, and relied solely on his computer to check grammar. This drives Person B batty. If Person B spends good money on a book, whether it be an eBook or no, they should not have to muddle through someone else's inept grasp of the English language. Hasn't anyone ever heard of proof-reading anymore?! If grammar and spelling aren't your forte, hire someone else to do it! For crying out loud, all of your other expenses for the book are nil! You could at least spend a few bucks to make sure you're turning out a quality product! (Or maybe a low-quality product with everything spelled and worded correctly!)

Ahem. Guess which side of that story I was on?

I think I can relate to Professor Henry Higgins from My Fair Lady, except my lyrics would read:

"Why can't the English (Americans, Canadians) teach their children how to spell?"

I don't think people who can't spell, and therefore place a very low importance on doing it correctly, realize how it drives people who actually care about our language UP THE WALL to read something that is spelled so poorly or incorrectly.

Sigh.

My New Blog

For those of you who may be wondering if I just blog for a living, or if I ever do any REAL work, I actually created a blog last night to promote my eBay business--so now I CAN blog for a living! Tee hee! Check it out:

http://wintersdistributing.blogspot.com/

Getting broken in

On Thursday, I was scrambling around like a puppy on linoleum trying to get the van packed and ready to go by the time Jason got home from work. He had let me know only the day before that he actually got Good Friday off, not Easter Monday, which left me a little cramped for time trying to get everything ready to go.

However, we did manage to get out the door by 8 p.m. on Thursday, so things could have been a lot worse. It was a long drive, but we rolled into Jason's parents place at 2:30 a.m. The kids did well on the way down, except Noah kept waking up and fussing--not sure if he was just uncomfortable sleeping in his carseat, or what.

Anyway, Friday was spent just hanging out with Jay's parents, and it was so nice to see them again and get caught up a little. The kids got to jump on the tramp and play with Iggy (the dog), and despite Noah twisting his knee a little, seemed to have quite the good time. We even got to see Jason's brother Nick, who stopped in briefly (I think he was just done work or something.)

Saturday was slightly less relaxing. After a somewhat leisurely start to the day, due to the fact that we all slept in a little bit, we got out the door and I dropped Jason at Sunnyside Camp around 11 a.m. He was to spend the day with the new Director, Dave H. (still not sure what his last name is), filling him in on what's what around there, while I went to Red Deer and did errands, then headed out to Grandpa H.'s farm to go through his estate with the rest of my family, and at some point re-connecting with Jason again.

It was a strange day for me. Driving to the camp, seeing the old house, driving out again along that oh-so-familiar road, gave me a strange sense of deja-vu--I was seeing double, with my new, still somewhat unfamiliar life super-imposed on the familiarity of the life-gone-by. Then there was the sheer pleasantness of being able to accomplish my errands in Red Deer, even with three kids in tow, simply because I knew where everything was.

The topper--spending the remainder of the day with my family going through my grandparents' belongings--some precious, some useful, some just plain what-the-heck-did-they-keep-that-for? junky. There were a few trips down memory lane, but overall it was not as difficult as it could have been. Of course, after Grandma died in '98, a lot of her things were given away then. And Virginia (Grandpa's second wife--they got married the same year as Jason and I) and Grandpa had already given some stuff away since then.

I remember poo-poohing Grandpa only last summer when he was telling me he wanted me to have the electric piano after he died (yes, I finally remember him giving it to me.) I was in denial--I didn't want the end to come so soon. And really, he seemed as healthy as a horse--there was no reason to suspect that a heart attack would take him home within a few short months.

In addition to the Roland, I also ended up with some other treasures I never suspected I would want, but am so glad I was there to speak up for: the old metal stool with TRUE vintage shabby chic built right in, due to the chipped multiple coats of paint; several wooden orange and cherry crates; some big brown one gallon glass jars (that apparently held aloe vera gel at one point - ?!); some lamps; a dresser; a bookshelf; a clock; a set of canisters; Grandma's food processor (YAY!! been needing one forever); an armchair and a recliner; some afghans that Grandma made; and the deacon's bench, the one thing I had my heart set on. Jabin and I also got a cold as souvenirs, since it was a chilly day in Sylvan Lake, with occasional snowflakes floating down, and the doors of the house were wide open all day long. I don't think the colds will last long, though--they already seem to be diminishing.

We crammed as much stuff as we could into our van (which fortunately, had one of the seats removed for that purpose) and made the trek home on Sunday night. I was glad that we actually got to spend a little one-on-one time with my dad before we left, as we caught him at home on Sunday before we took off.

The bittersweet end to the trip--we had to make one last stop at the camp to drop something off on our way up Hwy. 20. Jude saw the outside of the old house, and was almost inconsolable for the next ten minutes because he wanted to "see the old house!" He didn't want to go to the "new house." How do you explain to a three-year-old in a way he can understand that even if the new owners of the house were to let us in, it wouldn't be what he remembered--that things can't just go back to the way they were?

Going home, as I still think of Sylvan Lake, was like putting on a pair of really comfortable, well-worn jeans. You put them on and you just think, "Aaaah. This is easy. This is me. I can just BE in these jeans."

Coming "home", to where all of our stuff is now, was like taking off the comfortable jeans to get into a pair of wool dress pants. Not broken in yet, and a little scratchy and uncomfortable. I know, in time, the wool could be magically transformed into cotton denim with some faded patches on the knees and cheeks, but I imagine the transformation will be slow, and one day I will look down and say "Hey, what happened to those scratchy dress pants? When did I become so comfortable?"

Until then, I may as well try to enjoy the process of getting broken in.

Fat Processing: Homogenization (Previous Sidebar Post)

Fast Food Fact:

In 1821, the average sugar intake in America was 10 pounds per person per year; today it is 170 pounds per person, representing over one-fourth the average caloric intake. Another large portion of total calories comes from white flour and refined vegetable oils.* This means that less than half the diet must provide all the nutrients to a body that is under constant stress from its intake of sugar, white flour and rancid and hydrogenated vegetable oils. Herein lies the root cause of the vast increase in degenerative diseases that plague modern America.

*Beasley, Joseph D, MD, and Jerry J Swift, MA, The Kellogg Report, 1989, The Institute of Health Policy and Practice, Annandale-on-Hudson, NY, 144-145

-from Nourishing Traditions, by Sally Fallon and Mary G. Enig, Ph.D.

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Fat Processing: Homogenization(#3 in a series)

It is important to understand that, of all substances ingested by the body, it is polyunsaturated oils that are rendered most dangerous by food processing,
especially unstable omega-3 linoleic acid. Consider the following processes inflicted upon naturally occurring fatty acids before they appear
on our tables:

Homogenization: This is the process whereby the fat particles of cream are strained through tiny pores under great pressure. The resulting fat particles are so small that they stay in suspension rather than rise to the top of the milk. This makes the fat and cholesterol more susceptible to rancidity and oxidation, and some research indicates that homogenized fats may contribute to heart disease.*

*Zikakis, et al, Journal of Dairy Science, 1977, 60:533; Oster, K, American Journal of Clinical Research, Apr 1971, Vol II(I).

-from Nourishing Traditions by Sally Fallon, available at www.chapters.ca.

(See previous sidebar posts in blog archives for descriptions of the following process, prequels to this passage: Extraction, Hydrogenation.)

Jabin's Birth Announcement

Well. They're finally done. All eighty of 'em.

Just in time to go home this weekend and hand 'em out.

My profuse thanks to both Amanda Magnusson and Naomi Livingston for your extensive help with finishing this project. I couldn't have done it without you.

Here, for your viewing pleasure, is the finished product of Jabin's birth announcement. (His specs are on the reverse side of the tag.)

Also, according to The Compulsive Confessor, there was recently a de-lurking week in blogdom. So, if you have been reading my blog, lurking, and not commenting, stand up and be counted! De-lurk! (Commenting, for those who may not be bloggily inclined, is as easy as clicking on the little comment counter at the bottom of each post, typing your comment, and hitting "Publish.")

I can't wait to hear from you!

PRAISE THE LORD!

Okay, so I'm not a forwarder. I seldom forward e-mails, no matter how sweet, cute, touching, or inspiring they are. However, this showed up in my inbox today, and I gave myself permission to forward it to my own blog! That way, if you don't want to read it, skip to the next entry! I've seen it before, but it's too funny!

Subject: "PRAISE THE LORD!"

There was a little old lady, who every morning. stepped onto her front porch, raised her arms to the sky, and shouted: "PRAISE THE LORD!"

One day an atheist moved into the house next door. He became irritated at the little old lady. Every morning he'd step onto his front porch after her and yell: "THERE IS NO LORD!" Time passed with the two of them carrying on this way every day.

One morning, in the middle of winter, the little old lady stepped onto her front porch and shouted: "PRAISE THE LORD! Please Lord, I have no food and I am starving, provide for me, oh Lord!"

The next morning she stepped onto her porch and there were two huge bags of groceries sitting there.

"PRAISE THE LORD!" she cried out "HE HAS PROVIDED GROCERIES FOR ME!"

The atheist neighbor jumped out of the hedges and shouted: "THERE IS NO LORD. I BOUGHT THOSE GROCERIES!!"

The little old lady threw her arms into the air and shouted: "PRAISE THE LORD! HE HAS PROVIDED ME WITH GROCERIES AND MADE THE DEVIL PAY FOR THEM! "

EdTech Update: Why Phishing works

EdTech Update: Why Phishing works

I get tons of these e-mails in my inbox, and even though I am fairly well-informed and on guard, I actually fell for one once from someone trying to get my eBay password. So I thought I would take the opportunity to help spread awareness about phishers and what they do. Check out this link if you have no idea what a phisher is.

Highlights from a Saturday

The best things about today:

• Warm weather
• Finally getting to meet some neighbours (and their kids--our kids had a blast with them)
• The SMELL of a Michael's Arts and Crafts store
• This sign:

• Mini-van, SUV and Truck Row as I came out of Home Depot. (Okay, the one outside of Wal-Mart was better--it was ALL mini-vans and SUVs--but I forgot to take a picture of THAT!)

That little red van is ours. I've never lived someplace where there are so many mini-vans and larger SUVs in every parking lot--not even Red Deer had this many. That fact alone is probably a testament to the length of the winters up here--everyone needs a bigger, more rugged vehicle to haul all 3+ of their children through the snow, which they wouldn't have had in the first place if the winters weren't so darn long!

• Starbuck's Tall Blended Coffee Java Chip Frappuccino
• Jason getting the yard cleaned up
• The Spring/Summer edition of Vogue Knitting
• Seeing geese, ducks, bison, crows, a hawk, and 2 wild boar, plus all the wildlife in the CITY, too!
• Jude making up songs while helping Daddy with the yardwork
• Listening to Great Big Sea's album "Play" in the van (Still my favourite album of theirs.)
• Getting to sit, knit, and relax with my honey while watching a really great movie at the end of it all. (This is the second time Jason and I have rented movies since moving up here.)
  

Breaking News! & To camp, perhaps to dream...

This is a photo of Jabin and me I took this afternoon. It was pretty tricky holding the camera and clicking, and getting us centered in the photo! Jabin kept wanting to reach for the lens cap, which was dangling down from the camera--that's why his hand is held out towards the camera.

Breaking News! While I was typing this, I had placed Jabin on his tummy beside me on the floor--and while I wasn't looking, he rolled himself over onto his back for the first time! YAY!

Jabin is about 4 1/2 months old right now, in case anyone is wondering.

Here's a bonus photo, taken last week sometime:

More breaking news: Last night Jabin actually went from 11 p.m. to 6 a.m. before eating! Yes, I know it is only 7 hours, and he has actually gone longer before. But the bonus of this was the TIMING of it: instead of eating at 7 p.m. and waking up at 3, allowing Mommy only about 3 hours sleep, I got over 6 delicious hours of consecutive sleep, and it was WONDERFUL! I hope this is the beginning of a trend!

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The ice on the river broke sometime Monday night. Seems like it just froze over--I guess it WAS only February sometime. Also, thanks to the time change combined with our new northerly latitude, it was light outside until around nine o'clock last night!

I love spring! My thoughts have turned to bedding plants, yard clean-up, and buying a tent so we can go CAMPING for the first time in years! That was the bummer of working at the camp--we lived at a camp, and never got to go camping or take summer holidays as a family. I took holidays every summer with the kids, but Jason could never come, which sucked.

And since we've been married, we've only gone camping one time, in late, frigid September, with our friends Chris and Tegan Keil. That was back in 2000. I'm thinking our little 2-man pup tent is no longer going to accomodate our newly-resized family, so I was checking out tents in the Sears catalogue this morning. We are seriously short on other equipment, too, but we have enough that after we get a tent, we can go anyway--just maybe not in the lap of luxury. And I am so excited about that!

Camping conjures up plenty of childhood memories, mostly good ones. My dad was a professional guide and outfitter until I was twelve, so he had a couple of permanent camps set up in the mountains with his partner. On occasion, he would take the family out there, too. Besides that, Mom was super-frugal, so whenever we had to take a trip anywhere, we camped our way there. No eating out, either--just whip out the cooler and throw sandwiches together. I remember one time stopping at this campground (I think in the Kuusamo area), and it was bitterly cold and windy, but we were all hungry. So we stopped in this little day-area site and had our mayo-and-bean sandwiches, trying to keep everything from blowing away.

Then, of course, there were the youth camping trips. Way too fun. A whole weekend out in the wild with your friends, and if you were lucky the boy you had a crush on came too. Three whole days with which to flirt with him! Heaven! It was also a bonus if the boy your FRIEND had a crush on was there, so you could tease her all weekend!

Of course, there were plenty of adults around, so there wasn't much chance of getting into any trouble (fortunately. Teenagers are all hormones and not much brain power.) Also, there was always the kid in the next tent that didn't WANT to be awake giggling and playing Truth Or Dare all night, and I remember several shouted "Shut up!"s and a shoe or two thrown our way. Still, that's the stuff memories are made of.

And that's what I want to give our kids--plenty of fabulous memories of family camping trips, and other family together times, so they will always have that to draw on when they get older. Sometimes it seems that things are shared around a campfire that wouldn't come up anywhere else.

Could be a bit interesting right now, though, with the baby. But I'm willing to try that at least once!

Website to Check Out

Did Noah's flood really happen? Was there really an advanced civilization of Atlantis? Were there ever whole races of giants? Are there actually dinosaurs alive today?

The Ooparts site, above, has extensive articles about these questions and much more, like Who built the pyramids?

Interesting subsection of this same site is their blog.

Unfortunately, there is so much information here that you could take weeks or months reading it, and that's not even counting verification. But even at a quick scan, it definitely gives some interesting evidences and food for thought.

Give it a check!

Miscellaneous Musings

Here's a miscellaneous bit of trivia for you:

Apparently, kissing can help you lose weight. According to Rouge magazine (a freebie that showed up in my mailbox a while back), "scientists say a good smooch can burn anywhere from two to 26 calories a minute!"

So, now you know that you CAN lose weight and have fun at the same time!

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Thank goodness that my computer updates automatically for daylight savings time! Otherwise, Jason would probably have been an hour late for work tomorrow! We didn't make it to church today, because Jay got hit with the same nasty cold I was dealing with for the last two weeks--the first onslaught is sore, achiness, and your throat swells up so tight you can barely swallow spit. You are more tired than you ever remember being (I actually was worried I might be pregnant again for a while there), and Jason got the added perk of getting to taste his breakfast twice. By 4 this afternoon, he had gotten to the swollen throat stage, so he has been communicating in sign language ever since, and trying not to laugh at any jokes.

I hope he decides to stay home from work tomorrow.

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So, I am now trying to convince all my friends to start a blog. I am having so much fun with it, and although I talk to people and find out that they are all caught up on me because of my blog, I have no idea what they've been up to. So, if you're reading this, and you don't have one already, click the little button at the top of the page that says "Get My Own Blog". Then e-mail me with the link so I can read you, too!

Better go hit the hay. Tomorrow is promising to be another long day.

Quote of the Day:

"The man who doesn't read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them." - Mark Twain

The Damsel In This Dress

So, I just now finished reading this $4 romance novel that I picked up at the grocery store the other night. I now remember why I don't normally read romance novels.

It looked promising--the catchy title, above, was followed with the tag line "Helpless, she's not..." and the synopsis on the back was written in a fresh style that told me the book might be amusing, and for four bucks, how could I go wrong?

Wrong.

Yes, there were humourous parts in it. But, the number of times the characters repeated the same thoughts of lust--oh, I mean "love"--like, 3 times a page, was enough to make me roll my eyes and say "Brother, not again. Would you just get ON with it?!" pretty much every 10 seconds. My stomach was rolling too, I might add.

I think that some female comedienne should borrow the title and tag line and use it to write a humourous commentary about the state of woman in the modern age. It had so much potential, but bombed out in content.

In case any of my readers ever see this book by Marianne Stillings and feel tempted to pick it up, I'll save you the trouble. Following is the only truly entertaining thing in this book, and it was on the second-last page:

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"Wait," she said, touching her fingertips to his lips. "I have more good news. Daddy got a job!"

Soldier peered down at her. "Well, that's great, honey. He must be really thrilled. But, well, given his, uh, condition and everything...I mean, he's brilliant, but he doesn't have any fashion sense, his social skills are pretty bad, he has trouble getting projects done on time, and when he does, sometimes they don't work." He shrugged. "What kind of job could he do where he would fit in? Who hired him?"

"Microsoft. He starts tomorrow."

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'Nuff said.